How to Enjoy Being a Stay at Home Mom When Things Feel Too Hard -

In this post I am sharing some super practical tips that will ACTUALLY make a difference when it comes to learning how to enjoy being a stay at home mom.

Maybe you have always dreamed of being home with your children, but when the time actually came for it to happen you realized it’s harder than you thought.

You are always on the clock and some seasons can be really difficult. I’ve been there. But the truth is, you can do more than just survive it, you can learn to absolutely love it!

This post is all about how to enjoy being a stay at home mom.

How to Enjoy Being a Stay at Home Mom

1. Know Your Why

Knowing your why is the most important factor in learning how to love being a stay at home mom. No amount of practical tips and tricks will ever leave you truly satisfied in the home if you don’t have something bigger than yourself fueling it.

It’s one thing to learn practically how to be a stay at home mom, as in keep the little people alive. It’s another thing altogether to overcome your own personal struggles and learn how to enjoy being a stay at home mom.

When it comes to being a stay at home mom, you’re always on the clock. Unlike in a career, nobody is there to give you a pat on the back, award or bonus when you do a good job. If you’re anything like me, this was a hard adjustment. I had always been motivated by recognition and accolades, something that just isn’t part of the territory of mom life.

The truth is, if we are striving for recognition then we will be let down. Motherhood is one of the hardest things a woman can do. You’re laying down your own wants and desires day after day to bend to the needs of this little person and there usually isn’t anyone around to see and applaud you for it.

Having a why stronger than any desire to be recognized is something I wish I would have had when I first became a stay at home mom. Because if we are always striving to be recognized, we will only end up burnt out and resentful when that recognition doesn’t come.

As a Christian homemaker my why is stronger than any personal glory, because being a stay at home mom is something I do for the glory of God.

When we are truly committed to honoring the Lord in our motherhood it gives us a joy that transcends our circumstances. We begin to give thanks for the moments that used to make us feel bitterness and resentment towards our role in the home because it’s those exact moments that sanctify us to be more like our Savior.. if we let them.

We can dig our heals in and maintain a victim mentality when the going gets tough at home, or we can count it to joy that we are able to serve and be sanctified by our very own children.

“Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil—this is the gift of God. For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart.” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭5‬:‭19-20‬ ‭

2. Practice The Habit of Staying Home

A huge part of becoming a mom that knows how to enjoy being a stay at home mom is being a stay at home mom that enjoys being home.

In our modern motherhood culture it has become a quirky trend to be a “stay at home mom that’s never home”. I am here to encourage you that learning to love being at home, while sometimes difficult at first, is absolutely worth the effort.

Not only does it give you more time back in your day, it also benefits the home in so many other ways. You don’t wind up making stressed out trip to Target that blows the budget or lose precious hours that could be used towards something enjoyable and productive if you cultivate a habit of spending your days in the home.

The more you learn to enjoy being at home, the more time and resources you will get back. That time and resources can be directly reinvested in the home then being home becomes all that more enjoyable. It really is a win-win for you!

3. Create More Than You Consume

I would often talk to my own mom about how stressed out I felt as a stay at home mom and ask her why she thought she didn’t feel that way when my siblings and I were younger.

She almost always would respond with “Times were different back then. We didn’t have phones like moms do now.” While I’m not going to demonize phone usage altogether, I think she is most definitely onto something in how much moms in our culture are consuming.

We live in a day and age where the highlight reel of 20 different people’s lives can be consumed before our feet hit the floor in the morning. We go into our day comparing our own real life with someone else’s curated version. But one thing I have found that is a great antidote to the brain fog that comes with endless scrolling and comparison is to put your hands to something real.

Homemakers today (in most cases) have too much time on their hands. Instead of scrolling that time could be filled with something creative that truly leaves you feeling accomplished and satisfied instead of numb and disoriented.

Whether you love baking, sewing, writing, gardening or anything else – do that! And if you don’t know how but have always wanted to learn, just start! You will feel more satisfied at home even with a failed first attempt at something creative than you ever would be by drooling over someone else’s life.

4. Get to Know Your Children

Managing little people as a stay at home mom can feel really… clerical at times. There are many logistics that mothers are in charge of and it can be really easy to start strategizing our children for the most productive outcomes.

While productivity isn’t always a bad thing, we can’t forget that these little children God has given us to steward are full humans with their own unique likeness to Him.

The more I get to know my children, the more I genuinely enjoy being around them. Children are not without intuition. They can absolutely tell when we aren’t paying attention to them and they sense it isn’t right.

The more you stop whatever productive task is so important in the moment and look your children in the eyes, the less you will feel burdened by the “interruption” and blessed by the fact that they want your attention in the first place!

5. Take Discipline Seriously

This is probably a tip you wouldn’t see on most self-help motherhood blogs, but it is crucial for long term enjoyment of motherhood. The truth is, it is difficult to fully enjoy being a stay at home mom when the kids are unruly and there is zero structure and discipline in the home.. been there.

We can find basis for this in scripture when it commands us to “Train up a child the way they he should go…” in Proverbs 22:6. It also commands us to teach our children the ways of the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:7). This includes the command for children to honor their father and mother in Exodus 20 and again in Ephesians 6:1 where it states “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

That last verse has something very specific that we must pay attention to as mothers. It is easy to fall into the trap of quoting verses at our children when we want them to obey, but are we approaching the situation from a place where our own hearts are being obedient to the Lord?

This is why the first point is more important than any other helpful tip or trick for how to enjoy being a stay at home mom. Because if our hearts are abiding in Christ and we are following His ways, then these other ears will begin to fall into place.

Our God is a God of order, not chaos. Raising little people can be chaotic, that’s not what I’m getting at. I’m getting at the fact that if we truly want to learn how to enjoy being a stay at home mom, we must discipline our children in the ways of the Lord. This doesn’t mean bootcamp style drills. This means helping to train our children’s hearts for the Lord.

Disciplining is a hard, long term work and can be tiring at times. But if we truly want to love being at home with our children then we absolutely must take the narrow road and invest in their hearts. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

6. Take Care of Your Home

This may sound obvious, but being in a tidy and well kept home is much more enjoyable than most realize.

I’ve been there. The house hasn’t been properly cleaned in longer than you want to admit, your children have somehow gotten every toy they own out, you’re behind on dishes and laundry, and everywhere you look your eye lands on a mess of one kind or another.

You feel your nervous system go into fight or flight and tell all the kids to get in the car because flight has won and off to Target or the drive thru you go because surely anywhere out there is more well ordered and pleasant than here!

But like we talked about in point 2, not only does this leave you in a dopamine-failure-funk, it also steals precious hours for productivity in the home.

The more we practice staying home, the more time we have to keep it in order. The more well ordered our home is, the more enjoyable home is and the more time you want to spend there.

Some super practical tips for easier housekeeping

Laundry: Do at least one load a day start to finish. For me this looks like having a load ready for me to fold in the dryer first thing in the morning. Then after I fold it I bring down any dirty laundry, wash and flip it to dry at some point the day and it is waiting for me in the morning. And in case nobody has ever told you.. folding kid clothes is totally optional.
Dishes: I personally have not had a dishwasher in almost 10 years, but I have been told the best way to keep up with dishes with one is to run it every night and unload it in the morning, not matter how full! If you have large family you may need to run it after every meal.
More on dishes: For my handwashing comrades.. soaking your dishes is an absolute must. After every meal I fill up one side of my sink with hot soapy water, soak the dishes for a few minutes and then wash, dry and put them away right then and there.
Overall tidying: A twice a day speed tidy is the best remedy for keeping up with the mess that comes with a bustling house! Make yourself a playlist of upbeat tunes and you and the kids race around to tidy as fast as you can. If you finish before the last song ends you get to have a dance party!
Cleaning: I like to break my cleaning up into different groups. Some daily tasks to keep the germs down and then other tasks that fall into a rotating deep cleaning with zones for each week. My personal favorite cleaning system that I have been implementing for many years is the Fly Lady method.
Build habits slowly and know homemaking is not a one-size-fits-all gig. Seasons change and systems that once worked will no longer be a good fit. This is okay and a sign your family is growing and changing.. what a blessing!

Find more on the Fly Lady cleaning method here

7. Get Outside

Part of learning how to enjoy being a stay at home mom is being able to troubleshoot when things get tough. You’ve probably heard it said that when the baby is upset either put them in water or take them outside and honestly.. same goes for moms.

Most of us probably can’t escape for a spare of the moment bubble bath or hot shower when the day is feeling hard, but outside is (almost) always an option.

When you feel that pressure building and like you might just bubble over at any moment take that as your cue to round up the littles and head to the yard for a break. This works so well to reset the tension and give everyone some space to breathe.

Not only is the fresh air good for our health but it also gives us that “getting out of the house” feeling without actually having to go anywhere or spend any money. Win win!

8. Have a Plan for Your Day

Something you probably weren’t told when you became a homemaker is this.. if you want to learn how to enjoy being a stay at home mom then you need to learn how to treat being a stay at home mom like a job.

This doesn’t mean rigid schedules and deadlines, but it does mean taking your job as a mom seriously.

Just like you wouldn’t show up to a day job in your pajamas or keep a sloppy workplace, same goes for being at home!

Spending a few minutes in the morning on getting your physical appearance together (even if it’s just brushing your hair and putting on some clean workout clothes) can really go a long way in how to be productive as a stay at home mom.

Simple tasks like making your bed and doing a speed tidy can also help you feel like you have gotten a quick win, and will keep you on track for the rest of the tasks that need to get done throughout the day.

Having a routine (NOT a strict minute by minute schedule) is key to keeping the home running smoothly. Adults and kids especially thrive on a routine.

Knowing what should come next in your day really helps reduce decision fatigue and keep you out of that fight or flight response every time it is time to switch tasks.

Many people love the benefits of time blocking. This is a great alternative to frustrating rigid schedules and allows for tasks to be interchanged to fit the needs of the home.

A sample routine with young children could look something like this…

Morning time block: 2-3 hours in the morning when the house is waking up. This can include personal Bible time, breakfast, discipleship and so on.
Productivity block: 1-2 hours of household chores like breakfast clean up, dinner prep, laundry and cleaning.
Quality time block: 1-2 hours of quality time with the little people. This could be a planned adventure out of the house or some outside time in the backyard or even just snuggling and reading books.
Lunch and quiet time block: 2-3 hours for lunch, a speed tidy and nap time or quiet time for kiddos aged out of naps. This is a great time to spend on something creative for YOU!
Afternoon block: 2 hours where the children are waking up for naps and you can finish prepping dinner. This would be a great time to save for screen time if you do screens.
Dinner block: 1 hour or so where the family can come together and have a meal, fellowship and enjoy each other’s company around the table. Try to clean up as you go with dinner so you’re not stuck in the kitchen too long after the meal.
Evening wind down block: 1-2 hours depending on your preferred bedtime for your children where baths, cuddles and bedtime stories can be enjoyed.
Marriage block: 1-2 hours after the kids go to bed where you and your husband can enjoy some quality time together before putting yourselves to bed.

9. Make Home Cozy

Making home a place you truly love and want to be is crucial to learning how to enjoy being a stay at home mom.

My husband and I joke all the time that we don’t even entertain the idea of going on vacation simply because we would miss our home too much!

You don’t have to live in the Instagram worthy old white farmhouse to make your home cozy and special. You can make your current home, whether it’s an apartment or a historic victorian estate, special, cozy and a place you truly love to be in.

Making home cozy on a budget

Lighting: Lamps or candles instantly add a cozier feel to a room. Avoid overhead lighting after sunset for a more homey atmosphere.
Fresh flowers: Not an option all year, but during the warmer months a vase of fresh greenery can really make a room feel extra special. It doesn’t have to be expensive either.. even some free clippings from your yard will really brighten up your space.
Wall decor: Blank walls instantly give the feeling that you are unattached to your home. Whether its family pictures or thrifted artwork, add something to the walls that brings you joy!
Blankets: You might not need Grandma’s heavyweight quilt in the summer, but a simple crocheted blanket draped over the back of a couch or chair really adds a cozy feel to a space.
Color: Millennial grey is out, color is in! Paint is a budget friendly way to completely change the atmosphere of a room. The warmer the color, the cozier your space will feel.
Furniture: Some people turn their nose up at thrifted couches, but I am not one of those people! Majority of the furniture in my home is vintage/secondhand/thrifted and I believe it adds so much charm to a space.
Rugs: A good rug can anchor a room and make it feel so inviting. You can get really amazing quality rugs for cheap if you know where to look (see the last tip)!
Homemade coffee: While this isn’t necessarily along the lines of home decor, it certainly makes home even cozier! Finding a way to make delicious coffee at home instantly makes you feel cozy and warm in your own space. And it usually tastes better than the cafe anyway!
Personal touches: What you love may be different than the Pinterest perfect version of a cozy home and that’s okay! A home that feels like YOU will be more cozy than any trend or cookie cutter style anyway. Don’t be afraid to add your own personal touch to your home. It is yours after all!
Thrift everything: You would be shocked at what you can find in the thrift stores or on sites like Facebook Marketplace for dirt cheap. Sometimes you even get lucky and find someone giving away a perfectly wonderful thing for free! Not only that, but thrifted items always make a home feel more collected and cozy. You just can’t get that feeling when everything comes from a big box store!

How to Enjoy Being a Stay at Home Mom When Things Feel Too Hard